The Good, The Bad, And The Boring

Online dating is tough, no question.

I have something here that will help drastically change the results you are getting.

Very often you can find yourself sending out messages, not getting the responses you want (sometimes none at all), and so I want to take you through the biggest mistake that women make so that we can to streamline your learning and get to what’s effective.

The big mistake?

Talking too much.

It’s easy to read someones profile, decide you like them, and pour your heart out on the page. The lesson I want to take you through is that in your first message, you want to keep things simple.

Here are three things you should keep in mind to make your first message elegant that will give you the best chance of building attraction and eliciting a response.

a) Introduce yourself succinctly

By succinct I literally mean something as simple as, “Hey it’s (your name).” That’s all.

b) Comment on something that’s in his profile

Here you might say something like, “I really appreciate your honesty in saying you miss the Spice Girls.” It doesn’t matter what it is; it can be funny, serious, intriguing… you just need to comment on something about him (remember: everyone loves talking about themselves).

c) Relate this back to you

Following on from the example in b), you could go on to say, “I really miss them too, we’re in this together.” That’s it! Sign off with your name, and that’s your whole message.

For example, if I were sending a message I would write…

Hey it’s Matt,

I really appreciate your honesty in saying you miss the Spice Girls. I miss them too. We’re in this together.

M

You might think that this is a little abrupt, but this first message needs to be kept really simple. This is intended to make him notice you, and that’s his chance to become interested in you. You’re not trying to do the work for him.

He’s going to look at your photo and profile at this stage anyway, so you don’t feel the need to explain yourself.

Taking this approach you’re building intrigue by not asking a question, as although you’ve reached out to him, you’re leaving him unsure as to how interested you are by not doing any of the work.

This ambiguity represents the kind of challenge guys love, and that causes them to wonder what they can do to earn your approval.

You should never see online dating as the only way to meet new guys. You need to take on everything else I talk about in the book and try to meet as many men as you can in person. If you’re struggling to do so, while half the battle is proactivity, the other half is location.

In my online programme I have a whole module dedicated to finding your type of guy, brainstorming a range of places that you will never have considered for meeting men, and ways of tailoring your approach to finding the type of guys you want. I even include a four week lifestyle plan to cement your efforts over the next month.